note: The below description is from the 2009 event. Not sure if this event is happening this year.

From Kent @ The Rainbow:

The Rock n Roll Triathlon.

This demanding trial is designed as the ultimate test of any wannabe rock god, and provides a stern challenge to their resolve across the 3 main disciplines; Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll. Only real hardcore veterans of the scene need apply.

EVENT 1. Blow my Bitch Up.

Just come off stage and the groin thrusting pelvic gryrations have got the testosterone coursing through the veins – and you need relief. The afterparty with the groupies on tap is some time away, and windmilling of the guitar strings has cut your hands rendering the ability to ‘knock one out’ too painful. What do you do? Quite natuarally you reach into your emergency kit bag and pull out Lolita (who has never argued or let you down in all these years). However the tour manager will be in soon for a quick debrief, you need to get Lolita inflated and ready for action asap. Get Blowing. (Sex).

Event 2. The 400mls.

All that humping your plastic pornofriend makes for thirsty work. The real Olympics may make virtue of running 400mts around a track with nothing at the end but a tape – what’s the point? What our rockstar needs is a quick sprint across the bar where he will quickly roll up a note before snorting a quick line (of a legal substance) and finally downing 400mls of cold intoxicating beer as fast as he can. First with an empty glass wins. (Drugs).

Event 3. The TV Javelin.

Venting your frustrations on women and drink is no substitute for the real thing. There are times when nothing suffices quite like throwing your TV out of the hotel window. Your rockstar credentilas depend on how far you can hurl a TV from one of The Rainbow’s upstairs windows.This is the blue ribbon event of the tournament. (Rock n Roll).

NB a all entrants to this event will have to submit to mandatory drug testing. Anyone who fails to fail will be disqualified as a poser, charlatan or masquarader.

• 2011 champion: ...
• 2010 champion: N/A
• 2009 champion: Can't remember - let us know!
• 2008 champion: N/A
• Location: The Rainbow